The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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