it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
