I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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