Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
