do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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