In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize