I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he puts the penis in happiness.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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