we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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