So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
