come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
