don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
