how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
