Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
