don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Congratulations! We have a period
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
