I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
