Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Is it penis luge time yet?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
