you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
