I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
True but thats because hes a fetus.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
