A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
