from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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