In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
