grandma shit on top of the toilet
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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