There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
