I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
