OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
