I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
