It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
