Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
