Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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