he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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