John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
