$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
