I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
