i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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