You're my little dorito
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
you never un-have a 4some
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
