The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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