thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
