do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Randomize
