someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
