But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize