We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
