is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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