Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
