all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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