Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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