I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
