i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
