Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
