Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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