I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
