I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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