But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
