that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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