It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize