Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
