well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
