I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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