i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
