We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
