just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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