What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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