O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
