would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
