ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Still dying that you shit outside
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
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