Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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