Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize