Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
