I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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