I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Randomize
