apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
