i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
